It’s graduation season again, and it reminded me that I graduated 2 years ago! So much has happened since I got my degree, yet it feels like yesterday. I don’t know how long I can still say I’m post-grad, but I think two years is within the appropriate time frame.

2 years is not a lot of time but the person I was 2 years ago feels like someone else entirely and also the same person at once. I still feel like I don’t really know what I’m doing with my life. But the older I get, the more I realize that most people don’t know what they are doing with their lives. We’re all constantly in a cycle of figuring things out and once we figure one thing out, there’s something else to figure out. 

I haven’t figured out being an adult yet, but I’ve learned a lot about myself these past 2 years. I’ve grown in ways I had no idea I would back in May 2022. And there are still things that I’m learning now, which keeps life interesting. 

Here are a few things I’ve learned up until now. 

I still feel like I’m falling behind, but that’s okay. I’m leaning into it because so what if I’m falling behind? There’s no right track to be following for me to even fall off of it. But telling myself that isn’t always enough. Sometimes, I catch myself scrolling through LinkedIn wondering when it will be my turn to be “successful.” As if I don’t already have the successes that matter to me. The lyric, “comparison is killing me slowly” always comes to mind because it’s from an Olivia Rodrigo song, but also because it’s true. Getting caught in the cycle of I’m not doing enough isn’t helping me get closer to where I want to be. It just keeps me stuck. 

There is no right path. We each have our paths that we have to find. Some people find it right away and I wish I was them. But others need more time to get to where they’re meant to be. I have to trust that I can find where I need to be, without comparing myself to people that are on their paths. This lesson is in the same vein as the last one, but it’s so important. When I started college, I thought I knew exactly where I was going to end up. History major, poli sci minor, 4.0, LSATs, law school, bar exam, and then finally a lawyer. I was ready, but the minute I couldn’t meet my own impossible standards I couldn’t take it. I got the history major and poli sci minor, but that’s as far as I got in my 18-year-old delusions. And that’s okay because there is no right path. 

I’m not 21 anymore. This one is obvious but so sneaky! At 21 I was partying and doing assignments at the last minute. I could still take shots of tequila and dance until 2 am then walk the mile back to my apartment. Then one day you start worrying about cholesterol, drinking too much, and hangovers that take you out for days. Suddenly my life is trying to coordinate 5 different calendars just to see friends and having to spend 20 bucks on something at least every day. Now my Friday nights consist of planning the next day and drinking a Poppi in a wine glass while reading a book (but don’t worry too much, I still go out until 2 am just sans shots of tequila). I’m not 21 anymore, and that’s a privilege. 

Work shouldn’t define me. In college, I let how I was doing academically and boys define me. After college, I let how I was doing at work define me. Then they fired me anyway. So the lesson I learned was that only I can define myself. External factors can’t create meaning in our lives, only we can. To show up as myself, I have to stop letting other people and things tell me who I am. Otherwise, I’ll never know who I am. And for the longest time, I didn’t know. As the kids say, I was lost in the sauce of external validation (that should be on a billboard). 

And lastly, one somewhat related thing….college students are protesting on behalf of Palestine and divestment. They are putting their education and even graduations on hold to fight for people across the world who are being massacred. Please support your nearest college students or check out these resources to support students across the country. Student action has been essential to civil movements across history. I hope for a free Palestine in this lifetime and am so proud of the students at my alma mater where I learned about the importance of student activism.

8 ways to support student protesters

Currently Consuming

Reading

• Bride by Ali Hazelwood 

  • It’s a fantasy romance….and that’s ALL I have to say. ⅘ stars! 

• Also here are some books I want to read soon:

  • Funny Story by Emily Henry

  • The Reading List by Sara Nisha Adams

  • Dial A for Aunties by Jesse Q. Sutanto

Watching

• Turtles All the Way Down on HBO Max

  • As a John Green girly, I was in love with this book when it came out. I’m only halfway through the movie because I stay starting movies at random times of the day…but it’s so good so far!!

Listening

• Risk by Gracie Abrams because it JUST came out. And her album comes out in June and I hope she goes on tour so I can see her!!!! 

• Hind’s Hall by Macklemore…..all proceeds from this song will be going to UNRWA 🇵🇸

Life Recently

Wrote a paper about Microsoft for my strategy class, it was rough and 1400 words….

Got dinner with some besties: Destini and Maryam!!

See ya! 

Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next week!

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