Writing has always been a safe space for me. When I write, I can be anyone and everyone. I can share my thoughts without fear or judgment. I can be scared, happy, sad, excited, angry, and peaceful. 

This newsletter taught me that I can share that writing, I can share those feelings. 

Someone recently asked me why I feel comfortable sharing so much of my life with the world. He couldn’t understand why I could be so vulnerable on the internet. And the person I was a year ago would probably wonder the same thing. 

But I learned that hiding myself only hurts me. Owning my feelings and thoughts means that I can show up as myself. I no longer want to show up as someone else. I want to show up as me. 

Also, 15-year-old me would pass out. Everything I do is for her because she didn’t know she would get to this point. She liked to hide. 

I would hide my writing. Hide my journals in the back of my closet. I was hesitant to share my poetry in my college creative writing class. Keep my thoughts to myself. Keep the peace. 

But writing is not meant to be hidden. It’s meant to be shared, read, edited, and improved. I am not meant to be hidden either. Though, I’m also not meant to be edited so that’s where we differ. 

I started writing in elementary school. I would write extravagant stories inspired by fantastical books I read at the library. My first story was about a girl who discovered she was a wizard. I wrote the story in my notebook as fast as I could. My hands would be stained with pencil lead for the rest of the day. 

To be able to create something just from the thoughts in my mind gave me a thrill like no other. I didn’t have control over much in life, but I could write a story and pretend for a moment that I lived another life. I had control over the words and metaphors I created on paper. Writing forced me to do rather than stay in place in my mind. 

Part of me hopes that one day I can turn writing into a book or a career, but for now, I hope that my words can reach the people who need to hear them. 

Earlier this year, I listened to Eli Rallo’s book, I Didn’t Know I Needed This. I didn’t read the book until after I had already started writing this newsletter but it changed my direction heavily. When I started this newsletter last year, I did it to give myself an outlet. I always had a creative side of me that I wanted to express in more ways. After listening to that book, I realized my voice was far more than just creative. It was important. 

I didn’t know I needed this newsletter, and I hope that anyone who reads this feels the same way. I want others to feel seen in their thoughts and their experiences. Of course, we all have unique experiences. What I’ve gone through may not be similar to you in any way, but I want to show that regardless of what you have experienced, you can share it and grow from it. 

This newsletter has given me the chance to share thoughts and feelings I never thought I would be able to. It allowed me to learn and grow from my experiences. It’s helped me reflect on my resilience. And most importantly, it’s helped me let go of the past and move into a new version of myself. A version I’ve been waiting to meet. 

Writing is transformative and I’ve been transforming all my life. 

I hope you’ll transform with me. 

Currently Consuming

Reading

• I hate to say it but nothing because I am reading for classes….

Watching

• Secret lives of mormon wives!

  • If I ever see Whitney….she better run

Listening

• One step at a time by Jordin Sparks

My notes app this week

 Song lyrics that resonated with me

“The only way to really know is to really let go” - Ingrid Michaelson, Maybe

“That’s just the way life goes. I like to slam doors closed.” - Gracie Abrams, I love you, I’m sorry

“Me and my truth, we sit in silence” - Ariana Grande, we can’t be friends (wait for your love)

“Everything you lose is a step you take” - Taylor Swift, You’re on Your Own, Kid

See ya! 

Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next week!

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